I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize