hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
