Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
