All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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