this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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