I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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