can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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