Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize