remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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