I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
