mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
