OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
