fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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