i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize