I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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