Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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