Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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