Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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