office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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