Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Someone came in the potted fern
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
