If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
