so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
