Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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