So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
