Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
