Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
