I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
