Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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