you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
