just tell him i said nine months
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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