My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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