Sponge bath it is.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
