Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
