dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
