i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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