I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Houston, we have a blender
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
