You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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