goodnight i made you a song goodbye
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
