I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
