Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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