well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
