The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
