In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
