i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
