i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
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