Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This is classic penis vs brain.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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