I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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