trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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