hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
