oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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