I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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