You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
