there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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