Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
