so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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