So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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