Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
