Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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