Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
