ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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