Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
