In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
