You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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