Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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