Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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