Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
