woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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