those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
