Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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