i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
