1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
