next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
