I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
