I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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