shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
After tacos, we're chasing women.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
