Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
