I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
